i was once so unable to unscrew a sauce lid i got out a bottle opener and just punched through it until i could tear the middle out I WAS SO MAD
Not gonna lie I did briefly consider busting out my replica Sting and trying to slice the whole top off but then I concluded that that would lead to pain and blood and glass everywhere and anyway, Sting’s at my parents’ house the next state over and so of no use to me in my current pasta-slaying quest.
Just spent five minutes struggling with a jar of pasta sauce, which normally wouldn’t be a thing at all except I lifted weights today and so a.) have sore weak little kitten arms and b.) am hungry as a goddamn horse and so there I am in my kitchen, laughing to keep myself from crying in frustration because I JUST WANT SOME FUCKING PASTA WITH FUCKING SAUCE DON’T YOU EVEN START TO FUCK WITH ME, RAGU, when at last after much cursing and straining and internal debate over whether I’ve got it in me to make some fucking sauce from scratch or whether I’ll just suck it up and eat the noodles plain I finally realized…
…that I was trying to turn the lid the wrong way.
Ivy Balcony, Paris, France
photo via sophy
Listening to a free audiobook online and while it has been great on the whole the person reading the last, longest, and most emotionally intensive chapter has the worst microphone and a voice that sounds like they’re literally holding their nose as they read oh why, WHY. :(