Get Caught

My first issue of the Journal of Forensic Sciences just arrived AND the complex pool is now open for the season!

Aw yes who’s gonna soak up some rays and do some light reading on cattle-caused fatalities in western Turkey and discrete traits of the sternum and ribs why I do believe it is I.

Sometimes I worry about people using shit they learned from the internet to cover their tracks during the commission of a crime, and then I read the kind of “tips” people pass around as though they’re easy, effective, and DON’T just create a whole new level of evidence to follow up on.

To start, dudes, the police figured out the “hide evidence/remains under a pet burial” thing AGES ago.  That’s why you excavate all the way to the bottom of the hole (and yes, you can tell when there’s more hole still left to excavate, even when you’re digging up one that was filled in hundreds if not THOUSANDS of years ago).

I’d tell you not to take advice from a duck when planning your murder but that’s kind of missing the point aka DON’T FUCKING MURDER ANYONE.  I’m guessing it’s fun or something to pretend to be all stone cold tumblr mafia killers but can we NOT?  This shit gets glamorized enough as it is. 

Off to the AAFS meetings!  It’s like a con but there’s less cosplay, better booze, and way more #maggots.  Also a section this year about tests on bone that’s been put through a woodchipper, which should be fun. 

But yeah, conference hotel internet pretty much always blows, so I’ll catch all y’all in a couple of days. 

Some of these talk/workshop titles, though!

“Does Your Family Have the Munchies?  It Might Be By Proxy”

That’s a lunch seminar on Munchausen By Proxy.

The prevalence of morbid/questionably appropriate puns and other forms of wordplay are one of my favorite parts of meetings (though some practitioners really, REALLY need to get some perspective on when it isn’t okay to have a lighthearted title). 

Play music in the lab while I’m working/studying and pretend I’m whichever CSI character best fits the genre. 

Typically it is some sort of alternative and I’m Greg Sanders but today is a Schubert/pensive classical and opera sort of day, so I’m Gil Grissom. 

Finally saw Sherlock last night (all of the first episode and half of the second) and while it did ocassionally make me shout (generally along the lines of SHERLOCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHERLOCK YOU CAN’T WHIP THAT BODY WITHOUT A RELEASE FORM SHERLOCK YOU ARE CONTAMINATING THE SCENE AND ANY POSSIBLE FIBER EVIDENCE FUCK FUCK FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK GLOVES SHERLOCK MOTHERFUCKING GLOVES JESUS YOU’RE GETTING FINGERPRINTS EVERYWHERE WELL SO MUCH FOR CHAIN OF CUSTODY AND THE CHANCE OF THIS CASE EVER STANDING UP IN COURT) I enjoyed it rather a lot.  Will have to hunt down the other episodes.